1. |
He is Near
01:22
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I'm not a preacher
But I too have hid my sins
Under a glacier
Of superego and id
Got caught undressing
Behind the pulpit
Said "I can explain
I'm just doing like David."
I talk to Jesus
Like I'm Jane and He's Tarzan
He said the world is falling apart
According to plan
And not to worry
There's a shrink in heaven
And ready or not
He is coming
In the Millennium Falcon
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2. |
Half My Friends
05:39
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Half my friends are getting married
And the other half watched their dad and mom
Half my friends are busy trying to have babies
And the other half says the best is yet to come
Half my friends are getting sober
And the other half still pretend their having fun
Half my friends still believe in Jesus
And the other half have moved on to the Zodiac God
Half my friends are on antidepressants
And the other half are high on their own denial
Half my friends are going to heaven
And the other half won't even get a fair trial
Half my friends are vegan
Half my friends are straight
Half my friends owe half their money to good ol' Sallie Mae
All of me is less than half a friend to more than half of them
I'm halfway joking
And halfway kidding
Half my friends are blowing out their candles
And the other half are wishing on anything
Half my friends smoke American tobacco
And all of us seem to hate this country
Half my friends are getting dumber
And the other half are content being dumb
All my friends are getting older
And I am left
Forever laughing
Forever young
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
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3. |
Fuck On
04:26
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We've had a few years of isolation
We've been in our homes hibernating
Now the snow has thawed
It's getting hot and heavy
Fuck on fuck on
My brothers and sisters
Fuck on fuck on
Non-binary siblings
You've paid your dues
You're vaccinated
You've spent so many nights alone masturbating
But the thrill is gone
You need someone
To lay with
Fuck on fuck on
My horny friends
Fuck on fuck on
Until we reach the end
We can always use more children
After all the revolution won't feed itself
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4. |
Actors
02:50
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Every starving artist working a coffee shop
Every fancy prostitute charging 1K a pop
Every drug dealer pedaling illegal crop
They're all actors
They're all acting
Every bank teller summoned by a bell
Every US marine fighting the cartel
Every petty criminal rotting in jail
They're all actors
They're all acting
Oh it's true
We're all actors
Me and you
So who are we acting for?
When the curtain closes we'll ascend from the stage
And arrive at the heavenly award show gates
We'll walk down the golden carpet and find our seats
Processioned by the prophets in the academy
We'll take the stage
A clock off screen says "Eternity"
And begins counting down
As you start your speech
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5. |
I am Fine
06:06
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I think I am a genius
With an idiot for a soul
Some goldfish as an ubermensch
Playing rock and roll
I’ve got dreams of the sea and an ocean full off creatures just like me
But I chose the homophone in a major key to sing in this fish bowl
I was born on an airplane
Over Bermuda’s triangle
And in turbulence the engine went
And I crashed into the gulf
The attendant limped to my parents through the wreckage and the smoke
And I chose that moment to say my first words and asked for a rum and coke
As you can see I'm doing fine
You can see I'm doing dandy
I have walked a couple lines
Got all the needles in my candy
There's a shirt on my back
And pants down to my ankles
I'm a man in search of meaning
I'm Frankenstein's Viktor Frankl
So leave me alone
Get out of my home
Or stay
Just got back from the Martians
Spent forty nights on their moon
Sitting full lotus watching the planets
And writing haiku
They implored that I stay and watch the end of days
But I bid them all adieu
Said "I got an apartment with three bedrooms if you need a better view"
Daddy sits in a lawn chair
Waiting for my return
Watching the horizon
For his prodigal son
With a lesson that he's learned
There's a feast back East that's awaiting me
But all my bridges burned
So I'm getting nice and cozy with my new family:
All you swine and dirt
As you can see I'm doing fine
You can see I'm just a swimming
Up the River of Styx
To the peak of Mount Olympus
Gonna kill me a god
Hang their head above my mantle
I feel like Jesus' son
Next to me can't hold a candle
So throw me a bone
Leave me alone
Or stay
I think God plays the organ
Whenever I start to pray
And I repent
Ask for forgiveness
But He can't hear what I say
As you can see I'm not fine
You can see I'm not stable
There's two wolves inside of me
And I've named them Cain and Abel
When I get to hell
The devil is making me a captain
And I'm driving there fast
I'm a DUI waiting to happen
Don't leave me at home
To drink alone
Please stay a little longer
Do a line then do a conga
I need a friend
To hold my hand
And pray
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6. |
A Way to Pray
01:20
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7. |
Heaven on Earth
04:53
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Live laugh love
In suburbia
It's 2022 and we did it
I think we found heaven on earth
I'm sorry God
I know you've been building all of us bunkbeds
But we got most of your people a paradiso
So rest your weary head
We won
We won
Since the Garden of Eden
You've been teasing the blueprint for your plan
So we thought we'd give you a break
And try and take matters into our hands
Oh you're sad
But what did you expect?
Given infinite roads you're bound to reach a cul de sac
Oh I promise
It's not that bad
Given infinite tries we'll gentrify the polar caps
Now you're seething
It's not a big deal
Here's your confirmation that manifestation is real
It's destiny
That we get this far
That the sun never set on our empire
We won
We won
Don't get in the way
Of the big bad white machine
We won
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8. |
Mother Mary
01:17
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Mother Mary
You did it again
You tripped in the woods
And wound up pregnant
Knowing what you know now
Will you carry to term?
Will you go out
And find a doctor?
I know that
I couldn't blame you
But somebody has to pay
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9. |
||||
What if I died yesterday?
And you're hearing my voice
From beyond the grave
Would you listen any closer?
Would you replay from the start?
I know I would, listener
If we exchanged the parts
For whatever that's worth
For the sake of the song
Let's pretend the deed is done
And my life is finally over
My afterlife's begun
I've got so much to tell you
About what heaven is like
But what good would that do for you?
When you've got so much time
So let's talk about life
Good news
You're speaking with an expert
I have seen enough of it to write the textbook
Chapter 1: How to have fun
Where do I begin?
Try to make friends
There's some folks in line
But not all make it in
Ignore the ones who are a shoo-in
Find the ones who aren't
Heaven knows it's a short life
Better savor every drop
Of the non-believers the punks and sinners
Book that trip to France
Share a cigarette with the hellbent
Trace their face between each breath
Remember Lazarus
Think of Judas
You won't find him up here
I know it's sad to say goodbye
But keep in mind
There will be no tears
If you haven't yet, listener
I'm sure that you will
Experience something with somebody
That's kind of a big deal
For lack of a better term
Let's call it "love"
It's not a butterfly
Trapped in the net of your intestines
It's not a cold front
Sending your arm hair to stand on end
It's not a late night
Pure and unforced ejaculation
It's a small fire
You gotta keep burning
You gotta keep burning
You gotta keep burning
You gotta keep burning
With parts of your own skin
And the paradox is
The more that you strip
The warmer you start to get
Before I let you go
I'll spoil one thing
We just sit and sing
Higher and higher and higher notes
Higher and higher and higher notes
Higher and higher and higher notes
We sing
Higher and higher and higher notes
Higher and higher and higher notes
Higher and higher and higher notes
Higher and higher and higher notes
Until only the dogs hear us
What I'm trying to say is:
Your pets are here too
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10. |
I Will Never Die
04:21
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It's almost over
Just hold on tight
Eventually the man with the sign on the corner
Is proven right
The world is ending
Glad it's in my lifetime
It won't be with a bang
But a venture that now's the time to buy
So cling to your loved ones
Or climb in your pod
Maybe the markets will restabilize
By the time you unthaw
We had a good one
Please hold your applause
It's time we learn the difference between
The eminence and the imminence of God
I've said all I can say
At twenty-five
I've sung like an angel
And danced like a wight
I've tried to be honest
I've tried to convey
That our world has more problems than fixes
At the end of the day
But we might get through this
The Lord loves an underdog
And if it's not me there will be someone similar
To tell us what we're doing wrong
I count myself lucky
To not be one of a kind
Because even if I bite the big one
I will never die
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